Weaning an Older Toddler or Child from Breastfeeding - Tips + tricks!
Breastfeeding is a dynamic relationship between two people.
Setting respectful boundaries for toddlers around breastfeeding is okay, and they learn really quickly if the boundaries are consistent and fair.
When to Start Weaning
The World Health Organisation recommends “exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a child's life, followed by continued breastfeeding along with the introduction of solid foods until at least 12 months of age, and then as long as mutually desired by the mother and child”. However, there is no set age at which a child should stop breastfeeding, and each mother-child dyad is unique.
There is no right or wring time to choose to wean, and definitely no need to wean before the child's first birthday unless it’s what you want to do! Some breastfeeding dyads continue breastfeeding for several years. It is important to listen to your child's cues and respect their individual needs and desires.
Top Tips for Weaning an Older Toddler or Child
Encourage respectful communication:
Encourage them to ask you calmly/politely for milk. Begin to use a hand gesture (sign or any hand gesture you both can learn), this will avoid them pulling at your shirt or undoing your bra clip if they want to help themselves 😅 - this instills bodily autonomy for both of you.
Distraction and Replacement:
Distraction as your first option - offering water or a drink as an alternative just incase they don’t need a breastfeed.
Communication and Support:
It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your child about the weaning process, in a language they can understand. Offer support and reassurance throughout the process and be patient with your child as they adjust to the changes.
Set your limits:
Decide on a limitation you can stick to - for some this is 10 minutes, others it’s a few minutes. This is helpful if you have a toddler wanting frequent long feeds.
Set your Boundary:
Use the same words when initiating feeds that have a boundary - “Let’s have milk, but when I say stop we need to stop / but when the music starts milk will stop”
Blame the timer:
I find using a timer on your phone is helpful, the timer goes off and you can be completely empathetic that the breastfeed has finished for now. This takes the blame/pressure off you, and the sound from the timer is consistent and easily recognised each time.
Switch up the dynamic:
Sometimes families will use a certain song as an offer for a breastfeed - this can work really well for some as it changes the dynamic of the toddler asking, to you offering the opportunity to breastfeed. The way to start this is by playing the song when you believe your toddler will ask or if they’ve already asked. Sing the song with them during a feed, or make them notice the music while feeding. The pattern can be easily started and remain consistent to see their learning happen quickly 🥰
Self-Care:
Weaning can be an emotional and physical experience for both the mother and child. It is important to prioritise self-care during this time and seek support from loved ones or a healthcare provider if needed.
You don’t have to consider weaning if you feel touched out by your toddler breastfeeding frequently, or the battles when you deny your toddlers request is big.
Start with limitations, and if you don’t want to breastfeed them be respectful and explain simply you won’t breastfeed right now, but soon. And sit with them in their disappointment - it’s hard at first but this is how we as humans move through our emotional growth.
Benefits of Extended Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding can provide many benefits for both the mother and child, including improved immunity, bonding, and emotional health. Extended breastfeeding can also provide benefits for the child's nutrition, growth, and development.
According to the World Health Organisation, extended breastfeeding (defined as breastfeeding beyond two years of age) is associated with lower rates of infectious diseases, dental cavities, and childhood obesity. It can also provide comfort and security for the child during times of stress or illness.
At the end of the day, weaning an older toddler or child from breastfeeding can be a challenging but rewarding experience. By approaching the process with patience, love, and evidence-based advice, you can help your child adjust to the changes in a gentle and supportive way. Remember to prioritise self-care and seek support from loved ones or a healthcare provider if needed.
References:
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2012). Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk. Pediatrics, 129(3), e827-e841.
World Health Organization. (2007). Global strategy for infant and young child feeding. Geneva: World Health Organization.
Jones, G. (2016). Extended Breastfeeding and Associated Factors in a Metropolitan Area of Australia. Breastfeeding Medicine, 11(3), 151-156.
Horta, B. L., & Victora, C. G. (2013). Long-term effects of breastfeeding: A systematic review
